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Home > Twelfth Night > ACT III - SCENE I. OLIVIA's garden.

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ACT III - SCENE I. OLIVIA's garden.
Enter VIOLA, and Clown with a tabour

VIOLA
1    Save thee, friend, and thy music: dost thou live by
2    thy tabour?
Clown
3    No, sir, I live by the church.
VIOLA
4    Art thou a churchman?
Clown
5    No such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for
6    I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by
7    the church.
VIOLA
8    So thou mayst say, the king lies by a beggar, if a
9    beggar dwell near him; or, the church stands by thy
10   tabour, if thy tabour stand by the church.
Clown
11   You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is
12   but a cheveril glove to a good wit: how quickly the
13   wrong side may be turned outward!
VIOLA
14   Nay, that's certain; they that dally nicely with
15   words may quickly make them wanton.
Clown
16   I would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir.
VIOLA
17   Why, man?
Clown
18   Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with that
19   word might make my sister wanton. But indeed words
20   are very rascals since bonds disgraced them.
VIOLA
21   Thy reason, man?
Clown
22   Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words; and
23   words are grown so false, I am loath to prove
24   reason with them.
VIOLA
25   I warrant thou art a merry fellow and carest for nothing.
Clown
26   Not so, sir, I do care for something; but in my
27   conscience, sir, I do not care for you: if that be
28   to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.
VIOLA
29   Art not thou the Lady Olivia's fool?
Clown
30   No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly: she
31   will keep no fool, sir, till she be married; and
32   fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to
33   herrings; the husband's the bigger: I am indeed not
34   her fool, but her corrupter of words.
VIOLA
35   I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's.
Clown
36   Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun,
37   it shines every where. I would be sorry, sir, but
38   the fool should be as oft with your master as with
39   my mistress: I think I saw your wisdom there.
VIOLA
40   Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee.
41   Hold, there's expenses for thee.
Clown
42   Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!
VIOLA
43   By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for
44   one;
Aside
45   though I would not have it grow on my chin. Is thy
46   lady within?
Clown
47   Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?
VIOLA
48   Yes, being kept together and put to use.
Clown
49   I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring
50   a Cressida to this Troilus.
VIOLA
51   I understand you, sir; 'tis well begged.
Clown
52   The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but
53   a beggar: Cressida was a beggar. My lady is
54   within, sir. I will construe to them whence you
55   come; who you are and what you would are out of my
56   welkin, I might say 'element,' but the word is over-worn.
Exit

VIOLA
57   This fellow is wise enough to play the fool;
58   And to do that well craves a kind of wit:
59   He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
60   The quality of persons, and the time,
61   And, like the haggard, cheque at every feather
62   That comes before his eye. This is a practise
63   As full of labour as a wise man's art
64   For folly that he wisely shows is fit;
65   But wise men, folly-fall'n, quite taint their wit.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, and SIR ANDREW

SIR TOBY BELCH
66   Save you, gentleman.
VIOLA
67   And you, sir.
SIR ANDREW
68   Dieu vous garde, monsieur.
VIOLA
69   Et vous aussi; votre serviteur.
SIR ANDREW
70   I hope, sir, you are; and I am yours.
SIR TOBY BELCH
71   Will you encounter the house? my niece is desirous
72   you should enter, if your trade be to her.
VIOLA
73   I am bound to your niece, sir; I mean, she is the
74   list of my voyage.
SIR TOBY BELCH
75   Taste your legs, sir; put them to motion.
VIOLA
76   My legs do better understand me, sir, than I
77   understand what you mean by bidding me taste my legs.
SIR TOBY BELCH
78   I mean, to go, sir, to enter.
VIOLA
79   I will answer you with gait and entrance. But we
80   are prevented.
Enter OLIVIA and MARIA
81   Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain
82   odours on you!
SIR ANDREW
83   That youth's a rare courtier: 'Rain odours;' well.
VIOLA
84   My matter hath no voice, to your own most pregnant
85   and vouchsafed ear.
SIR ANDREW
86   'Odours,' 'pregnant' and 'vouchsafed:' I'll get 'em
87   all three all ready.
OLIVIA
88   Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my hearing.
Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW, and MARIA
89   Give me your hand, sir.
VIOLA
90   My duty, madam, and most humble service.
OLIVIA
91   What is your name?
VIOLA
92   Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess.
OLIVIA
93   My servant, sir! 'Twas never merry world
94   Since lowly feigning was call'd compliment:
95   You're servant to the Count Orsino, youth.
VIOLA
96   And he is yours, and his must needs be yours:
97   Your servant's servant is your servant, madam.
OLIVIA
98   For him, I think not on him: for his thoughts,
99   Would they were blanks, rather than fill'd with me!
VIOLA
100  Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts
101  On his behalf.
OLIVIA
102  O, by your leave, I pray you,
103  I bade you never speak again of him:
104  But, would you undertake another suit,
105  I had rather hear you to solicit that
106  Than music from the spheres.
VIOLA
107  Dear lady,--
OLIVIA
108  Give me leave, beseech you. I did send,
109  After the last enchantment you did here,
110  A ring in chase of you: so did I abuse
111  Myself, my servant and, I fear me, you:
112  Under your hard construction must I sit,
113  To force that on you, in a shameful cunning,
114  Which you knew none of yours: what might you think?
115  Have you not set mine honour at the stake
116  And baited it with all the unmuzzled thoughts
117  That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving
118  Enough is shown: a cypress, not a bosom,
119  Hideth my heart. So, let me hear you speak.
VIOLA
120  I pity you.
OLIVIA
121  That's a degree to love.
VIOLA
122  No, not a grize; for 'tis a vulgar proof,
123  That very oft we pity enemies.
OLIVIA
124  Why, then, methinks 'tis time to smile again.
125  O, world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
126  If one should be a prey, how much the better
127  To fall before the lion than the wolf!
Clock strikes
128  The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.
129  Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you:
130  And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest,
131  Your were is alike to reap a proper man:
132  There lies your way, due west.
VIOLA
133  Then westward-ho! Grace and good disposition
134  Attend your ladyship!
135  You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?
OLIVIA
136  Stay:
137  I prithee, tell me what thou thinkest of me.
VIOLA
138  That you do think you are not what you are.
OLIVIA
139  If I think so, I think the same of you.
VIOLA
140  Then think you right: I am not what I am.
OLIVIA
141  I would you were as I would have you be!
VIOLA
142  Would it be better, madam, than I am?
143  I wish it might, for now I am your fool.
OLIVIA
144  O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
145  In the contempt and anger of his lip!
146  A murderous guilt shows not itself more soon
147  Than love that would seem hid: love's night is noon.
148  Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
149  By maidhood, honour, truth and every thing,
150  I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride,
151  Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide.
152  Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
153  For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause,
154  But rather reason thus with reason fetter,
155  Love sought is good, but given unsought better.
VIOLA
156  By innocence I swear, and by my youth
157  I have one heart, one bosom and one truth,
158  And that no woman has; nor never none
159  Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
160  And so adieu, good madam: never more
161  Will I my master's tears to you deplore.
OLIVIA
162  Yet come again; for thou perhaps mayst move
163  That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
Exeunt

< (Previous) ACT II, SCENE VACT III, SCENE II (Next) >
Scene Index
ACT I
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV
  • SCENE V


  • ACT II
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV
  • SCENE V


  • ACT III
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV


  • ACT IV
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III


  • ACT V
  • SCENE I

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