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Home > Merry Wives of Windsor > ACT I - SCENE IV. A room in DOCTOR CAIUS' house.

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ACT I - SCENE IV. A room in DOCTOR CAIUS' house.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY

MISTRESS QUICKLY
1    What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement,
2    and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor
3    Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith, and find any
4    body in the house, here will be an old abusing of
5    God's patience and the king's English.
RUGBY
6    I'll go watch.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
7    Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in
8    faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.
Exit RUGBY
9    An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant
10   shall come in house withal, and, I warrant you, no
11   tell-tale nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is,
12   that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish
13   that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let
14   that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is?
SIMPLE
15   Ay, for fault of a better.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
16   And Master Slender's your master?
SIMPLE
17   Ay, forsooth.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
18   Does he not wear a great round beard, like a
19   glover's paring-knife?
SIMPLE
20   No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a
21   little yellow beard, a Cain-coloured beard.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
22   A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
SIMPLE
23   Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands
24   as any is between this and his head; he hath fought
25   with a warrener.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
26   How say you? O, I should remember him: does he not
27   hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?
SIMPLE
28   Yes, indeed, does he.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
29   Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell
30   Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your
31   master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish--
Re-enter RUGBY

RUGBY
32   Out, alas! here comes my master.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
33   We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man;
34   go into this closet: he will not stay long.
Shuts SIMPLE in the closet
35   What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say!
36   Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt
37   he be not well, that he comes not home.
Singing
38   And down, down, adown-a, &c.
Enter DOCTOR CAIUS

DOCTOR CAIUS
39   Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you,
40   go and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert, a box,
41   a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
42   Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you.
Aside
43   I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found
44   the young man, he would have been horn-mad.
DOCTOR CAIUS
45   Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je
46   m'en vais a la cour--la grande affaire.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
47   Is it this, sir?
DOCTOR CAIUS
48   Oui; mette le au mon pocket: depeche, quickly. Vere
49   is dat knave Rugby?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
50   What, John Rugby! John!
RUGBY
51   Here, sir!
DOCTOR CAIUS
52   You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come,
53   take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court.
RUGBY
54   'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
DOCTOR CAIUS
55   By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me!
56   Qu'ai-j'oublie! dere is some simples in my closet,
57   dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
58   Ay me, he'll find the young man here, and be mad!
DOCTOR CAIUS
59   O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Villain! larron!
Pulling SIMPLE out
60   Rugby, my rapier!
MISTRESS QUICKLY
61   Good master, be content.
DOCTOR CAIUS
62   Wherefore shall I be content-a?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
63   The young man is an honest man.
DOCTOR CAIUS
64   What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is
65   no honest man dat shall come in my closet.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
66   I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth
67   of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.
DOCTOR CAIUS
68   Vell.
SIMPLE
69   Ay, forsooth; to desire her to--
MISTRESS QUICKLY
70   Peace, I pray you.
DOCTOR CAIUS
71   Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale.
SIMPLE
72   To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to
73   speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my
74   master in the way of marriage.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
75   This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my
76   finger in the fire, and need not.
DOCTOR CAIUS
77   Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baille me some paper.
78   Tarry you a little-a while.
Writes

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Aside to SIMPLE
79    I am glad he is so quiet: if he
80   had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him
81   so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding,
82   man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and
83   the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my
84   master,--I may call him my master, look you, for I
85   keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake,
86   scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds and do
87   all myself,--
SIMPLE
Aside to MISTRESS QUICKLY
88    'Tis a great charge to
89   come under one body's hand.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Aside to SIMPLE
90    Are you avised o' that? you
91   shall find it a great charge: and to be up early
92   and down late; but notwithstanding,--to tell you in
93   your ear; I would have no words of it,--my master
94   himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but
95   notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,--that's
96   neither here nor there.
DOCTOR CAIUS
97   You jack'nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by
98   gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in dee
99   park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest
100  to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good
101  you tarry here. By gar, I will cut all his two
102  stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw
103  at his dog:
Exit SIMPLE

MISTRESS QUICKLY
104  Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
DOCTOR CAIUS
105  It is no matter-a ver dat: do not you tell-a me
106  dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I
107  vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine
108  host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I
109  will myself have Anne Page.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
110  Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We
111  must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer!
DOCTOR CAIUS
112  Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have
113  not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my
114  door. Follow my heels, Rugby.
Exeunt DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY

MISTRESS QUICKLY
115  You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I
116  know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor
117  knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more
118  than I do with her, I thank heaven.
FENTON
Within
119   Who's within there? ho!
MISTRESS QUICKLY
120  Who's there, I trow! Come near the house, I pray you.
Enter FENTON

FENTON
121  How now, good woman? how dost thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
122  The better that it pleases your good worship to ask.
FENTON
123  What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
124  In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and
125  gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you
126  that by the way; I praise heaven for it.
FENTON
127  Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? shall I not lose my suit?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
128  Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but
129  notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a
130  book, she loves you. Have not your worship a wart
131  above your eye?
FENTON
132  Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
133  Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such
134  another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever
135  broke bread: we had an hour's talk of that wart. I
136  shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But
137  indeed she is given too much to allicholy and
138  musing: but for you--well, go to.
FENTON
139  Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money
140  for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if
141  thou seest her before me, commend me.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
142  Will I? i'faith, that we will; and I will tell your
143  worship more of the wart the next time we have
144  confidence; and of other wooers.
FENTON
145  Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
146  Farewell to your worship.
Exit FENTON
147  Truly, an honest gentleman: but Anne loves him not;
148  for I know Anne's mind as well as another does. Out
149  upon't! what have I forgot?
Exit

< (Previous) ACT I, SCENE IIIACT II, SCENE I (Next) >
Scene Index
ACT I
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV


  • ACT II
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III


  • ACT III
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV
  • SCENE V


  • ACT IV
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV
  • SCENE V
  • SCENE VI


  • ACT V
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV
  • SCENE V

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