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Home > Two Gentlemen of Verona > ACT II - SCENE V. The same. A street.

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ACT II - SCENE V. The same. A street.
Enter SPEED and LAUNCE severally

SPEED
1    Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!
LAUNCE
2    Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
3    welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never
4    undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a
5    place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess
6    say 'Welcome!'
SPEED
7    Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you
8    presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou
9    shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how
10   did thy master part with Madam Julia?
LAUNCE
11   Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very
12   fairly in jest.
SPEED
13   But shall she marry him?
LAUNCE
14   No.
SPEED
15   How then? shall he marry her?
LAUNCE
16   No, neither.
SPEED
17   What, are they broken?
LAUNCE
18   No, they are both as whole as a fish.
SPEED
19   Why, then, how stands the matter with them?
LAUNCE
20   Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it
21   stands well with her.
SPEED
22   What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
LAUNCE
23   What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My
24   staff understands me.
SPEED
25   What thou sayest?
LAUNCE
26   Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean,
27   and my staff understands me.
SPEED
28   It stands under thee, indeed.
LAUNCE
29   Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
SPEED
30   But tell me true, will't be a match?
LAUNCE
31   Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! if he say no,
32   it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
SPEED
33   The conclusion is then that it will.
LAUNCE
34   Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
SPEED
35   'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest
36   thou, that my master is become a notable lover?
LAUNCE
37   I never knew him otherwise.
SPEED
38   Than how?
LAUNCE
39   A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
SPEED
40   Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.
LAUNCE
41   Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.
SPEED
42   I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
LAUNCE
43   Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself
44   in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse;
45   if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the
46   name of a Christian.
SPEED
47   Why?
LAUNCE
48   Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to
49   go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
SPEED
50   At thy service.
Exeunt

< (Previous) ACT II, SCENE IVACT II, SCENE VI (Next) >
Scene Index
ACT I
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III


  • ACT II
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV
  • SCENE V
  • SCENE VI
  • SCENE VII


  • ACT III
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II


  • ACT IV
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV


  • ACT V
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV

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