1    Sir, your glove.

2    Not mine; my gloves are on.

3    Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.

4    Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine:
5    Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
6    Ah, Silvia, Silvia!

7    Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!

8    How now, sirrah?

9    She is not within hearing, sir.

10   Why, sir, who bade you call her?

11   Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.

12   Well, you'll still be too forward.

13   And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.

14   Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?

15   She that your worship loves?

16   Why, how know you that I am in love?

17   Marry, by these special marks: first, you have
18   learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms,
19   like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a
20   robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had
21   the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had
22   lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had
23   buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes
24   diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to
25   speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were
26   wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you
27   walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you
28   fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you
29   looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you
30   are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look
31   on you, I can hardly think you my master.

32   Are all these things perceived in me?

33   They are all perceived without ye.

34   Without me? they cannot.

35   Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you
36   were so simple, none else would: but you are so
37   without these follies, that these follies are within
38   you and shine through you like the water in an
39   urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a
40   physician to comment on your malady.

41   But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?

42   She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?

43   Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean.

44   Why, sir, I know her not.

45   Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet
46   knowest her not?

47   Is she not hard-favoured, sir?

48   Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.

49   Sir, I know that well enough.

50   What dost thou know?

51   That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.

52   I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.

53   That's because the one is painted and the other out
54   of all count.

55   How painted? and how out of count?

56   Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no
57   man counts of her beauty.

58   How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.

59   You never saw her since she was deformed.

60   How long hath she been deformed?

61   Ever since you loved her.

62   I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I
63   see her beautiful.

64   If you love her, you cannot see her.

65   Why?

66   Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes;
67   or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to
68   have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going
69   ungartered!

70   What should I see then?

71   Your own present folly and her passing deformity:
72   for he, being in love, could not see to garter his
73   hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.

74   Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last
75   morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.

76   True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you,
77   you swinged me for my love, which makes me the
78   bolder to chide you for yours.

79   In conclusion, I stand affected to her.

80   I would you were set, so your affection would cease.

81   Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to
82   one she loves.

83   And have you?

84   I have.

85   Are they not lamely writ?

86   No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace!
87   here she comes.

Aside
88    O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!
89   Now will he interpret to her.

90   Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.

Aside
91    O, give ye good even! here's a million of manners.

92   Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.

Aside
93    He should give her interest and she gives it him.

94   As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter
95   Unto the secret nameless friend of yours;
96   Which I was much unwilling to proceed in
97   But for my duty to your ladyship.

98   I thank you gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly done.

99   Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;
100  For being ignorant to whom it goes
101  I writ at random, very doubtfully.

102  Perchance you think too much of so much pains?

103  No, madam; so it stead you, I will write
104  Please you command, a thousand times as much; And yet--

105  A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
106  And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not;
107  And yet take this again; and yet I thank you,
108  Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.

Aside
109   And yet you will; and yet another 'yet.'

110  What means your ladyship? do you not like it?

111  Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ;
112  But since unwillingly, take them again.
113  Nay, take them.

114  Madam, they are for you.

115  Ay, ay: you writ them, sir, at my request;
116  But I will none of them; they are for you;
117  I would have had them writ more movingly.

118  Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.

119  And when it's writ, for my sake read it over,
120  And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.

121  If it please me, madam, what then?

122  Why, if it please you, take it for your labour:
123  And so, good morrow, servant.

124  O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
125  As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
126  My master sues to her, and she hath
127  taught her suitor,
128  He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
129  O excellent device! was there ever heard a better,
130  That my master, being scribe, to himself should write
131  the letter?

132  How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?

133  Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason.

134  To do what?

135  To be a spokesman for Madam Silvia.

136  To whom?

137  To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.

138  What figure?

139  By a letter, I should say.

140  Why, she hath not writ to me?

141  What need she, when she hath made you write to
142  yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?

143  No, believe me.

144  No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive
145  her earnest?

146  She gave me none, except an angry word.

147  Why, she hath given you a letter.

148  That's the letter I writ to her friend.

149  And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.

150  I would it were no worse.

151  I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:
152  For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
153  Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
154  Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
155  Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
156  All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.
157  Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.

158  I have dined.

159  Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can
160  feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my
161  victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like
162  your mistress; be moved, be moved.