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Home > Comedy of Errors > ACT IV - SCENE III. A public place.

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ACT IV - SCENE III. A public place.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
1    There's not a man I meet but doth salute me
2    As if I were their well-acquainted friend;
3    And every one doth call me by my name.
4    Some tender money to me; some invite me;
5    Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;
6    Some offer me commodities to buy:
7    Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop
8    And show'd me silks that he had bought for me,
9    And therewithal took measure of my body.
10   Sure, these are but imaginary wiles
11   And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.
Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
12   Master, here's the gold you sent me for. What, have
13   you got the picture of old Adam new-apparelled?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
14   What gold is this? what Adam dost thou mean?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
15   Not that Adam that kept the Paradise but that Adam
16   that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's
17   skin that was killed for the Prodigal; he that came
18   behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you
19   forsake your liberty.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
20   I understand thee not.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
21   No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went, like a
22   bass-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir,
23   that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob
24   and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed
25   men and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up
26   his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a
27   morris-pike.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
28   What, thou meanest an officer?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
29   Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band, he that brings
30   any man to answer it that breaks his band; one that
31   thinks a man always going to bed, and says, 'God
32   give you good rest!'
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
33   Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
34   Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the
35   bark Expedition put forth to-night; and then were
36   you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy
37   Delay. Here are the angels that you sent for to
38   deliver you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
39   The fellow is distract, and so am I;
40   And here we wander in illusions:
41   Some blessed power deliver us from hence!
Enter a Courtezan

Courtezan
42   Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.
43   I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now:
44   Is that the chain you promised me to-day?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
45   Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
46   Master, is this Mistress Satan?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
47   It is the devil.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
48   Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here
49   she comes in the habit of a light wench: and thereof
50   comes that the wenches say 'God damn me;' that's as
51   much to say 'God make me a light wench.' It is
52   written, they appear to men like angels of light:
53   light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn;
54   ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.
Courtezan
55   Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.
56   Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
57   Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat; or bespeak a
58   long spoon.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
59   Why, Dromio?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
60   Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with
61   the devil.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
62   Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me of supping?
63   Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress:
64   I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.
Courtezan
65   Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
66   Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised,
67   And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
68   Some devils ask but the parings of one's nail,
69   A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
70   A nut, a cherry-stone;
71   But she, more covetous, would have a chain.
72   Master, be wise: an if you give it her,
73   The devil will shake her chain and fright us with it.
Courtezan
74   I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain:
75   I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
76   Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
77   'Fly pride,' says the peacock: mistress, that you know.
Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse

Courtezan
78   Now, out of doubt Antipholus is mad,
79   Else would he never so demean himself.
80   A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
81   And for the same he promised me a chain:
82   Both one and other he denies me now.
83   The reason that I gather he is mad,
84   Besides this present instance of his rage,
85   Is a mad tale he told to-day at dinner,
86   Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.
87   Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,
88   On purpose shut the doors against his way.
89   My way is now to hie home to his house,
90   And tell his wife that, being lunatic,
91   He rush'd into my house and took perforce
92   My ring away. This course I fittest choose;
93   For forty ducats is too much to lose.
Exit

< (Previous) ACT IV, SCENE IIACT IV, IV (Next) >
Scene Index
ACT I
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II


  • ACT II
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II


  • ACT III
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II


  • ACT IV
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV


  • ACT V
  • SCENE I

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