MaximumEdge.com | | Search | | E-Mail | | News | | Weather | | Finance | | Directory | | Music | | Lottery Results | | Horoscopes | | Translation | | Games | | E-Cards | | Maps | | Jobs | | Magazines | | DVDs |

MaximumEdge.com
Shakespeare

Home > King Henry IV Part 2 > ACT III - SCENE II. Gloucestershire. Before SHALLOW'S house.

Search: King Henry IV Part 2


< (Previous) ACT III, SCENE IACT IV, SCENE I (Next) >

ACT III - SCENE II. Gloucestershire. Before SHALLOW'S house.
SHALLOW
1    Come on, come on, come on, sir; give me your hand,
2    sir, give me your hand, sir: an early stirrer, by
3    the rood! And how doth my good cousin Silence?
SILENCE
4    Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.
SHALLOW
5    And how doth my cousin, your bedfellow? and your
6    fairest daughter and mine, my god-daughter Ellen?
SILENCE
7    Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow!
SHALLOW
8    By yea and nay, sir, I dare say my cousin William is
9    become a good scholar: he is at Oxford still, is he not?
SILENCE
10   Indeed, sir, to my cost.
SHALLOW
11   A' must, then, to the inns o' court shortly. I was
12   once of Clement's Inn, where I think they will
13   talk of mad Shallow yet.
SILENCE
14   You were called 'lusty Shallow' then, cousin.
SHALLOW
15   By the mass, I was called any thing; and I would
16   have done any thing indeed too, and roundly too.
17   There was I, and little John Doit of Staffordshire,
18   and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone, and
19   Will Squele, a Cotswold man; you had not four such
20   swinge-bucklers in all the inns o' court again: and
21   I may say to you, we knew where the bona-robas were
22   and had the best of them all at commandment. Then
23   was Jack Falstaff, now Sir John, a boy, and page to
24   Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk.
SILENCE
25   This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about soldiers?
SHALLOW
26   The same Sir John, the very same. I see him break
27   Skogan's head at the court-gate, when a' was a
28   crack not thus high: and the very same day did I
29   fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer,
30   behind Gray's Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I
31   have spent! and to see how many of my old
32   acquaintance are dead!
SILENCE
33   We shall all follow, cousin.
SHADOW
34   Certain, 'tis certain; very sure, very sure: death,
35   as the Psalmist saith, is certain to all; all shall
36   die. How a good yoke of bullocks at Stamford fair?
SILENCE
37   By my troth, I was not there.
SHALLOW
38   Death is certain. Is old Double of your town living
39   yet?
SILENCE
40   Dead, sir.
SHALLOW
41   Jesu, Jesu, dead! a' drew a good bow; and dead! a'
42   shot a fine shoot: John a Gaunt loved him well, and
43   betted much money on his head. Dead! a' would have
44   clapped i' the clout at twelve score; and carried
45   you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen and a
46   half, that it would have done a man's heart good to
47   see. How a score of ewes now?
SILENCE
48   Thereafter as they be: a score of good ewes may be
49   worth ten pounds.
SHALLOW
50   And is old Double dead?
SILENCE
51   Here come two of Sir John Falstaff's men, as I think.
Enter BARDOLPH and one with him

BARDOLPH
52   Good morrow, honest gentlemen: I beseech you, which
53   is Justice Shallow?
SHALLOW
54   I am Robert Shallow, sir; a poor esquire of this
55   county, and one of the king's justices of the peace:
56   What is your good pleasure with me?
BARDOLPH
57   My captain, sir, commends him to you; my captain,
58   Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by heaven, and
59   a most gallant leader.
SHALLOW
60   He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good backsword
61   man. How doth the good knight? may I ask how my
62   lady his wife doth?
BARDOLPH
63   Sir, pardon; a soldier is better accommodated than
64   with a wife.
SHALLOW
65   It is well said, in faith, sir; and it is well said
66   indeed too. Better accommodated! it is good; yea,
67   indeed, is it: good phrases are surely, and ever
68   were, very commendable. Accommodated! it comes of
69   'accommodo' very good; a good phrase.
BARDOLPH
70   Pardon me, sir; I have heard the word. Phrase call
71   you it? by this good day, I know not the phrase;
72   but I will maintain the word with my sword to be a
73   soldier-like word, and a word of exceeding good
74   command, by heaven. Accommodated; that is, when a
75   man is, as they say, accommodated; or when a man is,
76   being, whereby a' may be thought to be accommodated;
77   which is an excellent thing.
SHALLOW
78   It is very just.
Enter FALSTAFF
79   Look, here comes good Sir John. Give me your good
80   hand, give me your worship's good hand: by my
81   troth, you like well and bear your years very well:
82   welcome, good Sir John.
FALSTAFF
83   I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert
84   Shallow: Master Surecard, as I think?
SHALLOW
85   No, Sir John; it is my cousin Silence, in commission with me.
FALSTAFF
86   Good Master Silence, it well befits you should be of
87   the peace.
SILENCE
88   Your good-worship is welcome.
FALSTAFF
89   Fie! this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you
90   provided me here half a dozen sufficient men?
SHALLOW
91   Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit?
FALSTAFF
92   Let me see them, I beseech you.
SHALLOW
93   Where's the roll? where's the roll? where's the
94   roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see. So, so:
95   yea, marry, sir: Ralph Mouldy! Let them appear as
96   I call; let them do so, let them do so. Let me
97   see; where is Mouldy?
MOULDY
98   Here, an't please you.
SHALLOW
99   What think you, Sir John? a good-limbed fellow;
100  young, strong, and of good friends.
FALSTAFF
101  Is thy name Mouldy?
MOULDY
102  Yea, an't please you.
FALSTAFF
103  'Tis the more time thou wert used.
SHALLOW
104  Ha, ha, ha! most excellent, i' faith! Things that
105  are mouldy lack use: very singular good! in faith,
106  well said, Sir John, very well said.
FALSTAFF
107  Prick him.
MOULDY
108  I was pricked well enough before, an you could have
109  let me alone: my old dame will be undone now for
110  one to do her husbandry and her drudgery: you need
111  not to have pricked me; there are other men fitter
112  to go out than I.
FALSTAFF
113  Go to: peace, Mouldy; you shall go. Mouldy, it is
114  time you were spent.
MOULDY
115  Spent!
SHALLOW
116  Peace, fellow, peace; stand aside: know you where
117  you are? For the other, Sir John: let me see:
118  Simon Shadow!
FALSTAFF
119  Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under: he's like
120  to be a cold soldier.
SHALLOW
121  Where's Shadow?
SHADOW
122  Here, sir.
FALSTAFF
123  Shadow, whose son art thou?
SHADOW
124  My mother's son, sir.
FALSTAFF
125  Thy mother's son! like enough, and thy father's
126  shadow: so the son of the female is the shadow of
127  the male: it is often so, indeed; but much of the
128  father's substance!
SHALLOW
129  Do you like him, Sir John?
FALSTAFF
130  Shadow will serve for summer; prick him, for we have
131  a number of shadows to fill up the muster-book.
SHALLOW
132  Thomas Wart!
FALSTAFF
133  Where's he?
WART
134  Here, sir.
FALSTAFF
135  Is thy name Wart?
WART
136  Yea, sir.
FALSTAFF
137  Thou art a very ragged wart.
SHALLOW
138  Shall I prick him down, Sir John?
FALSTAFF
139  It were superfluous; for his apparel is built upon
140  his back and the whole frame stands upon pins:
141  prick him no more.
SHALLOW
142  Ha, ha, ha! you can do it, sir; you can do it: I
143  commend you well. Francis Feeble!
FEEBLE
144  Here, sir.
FALSTAFF
145  What trade art thou, Feeble?
FEEBLE
146  A woman's tailor, sir.
SHALLOW
147  Shall I prick him, sir?
FALSTAFF
148  You may: but if he had been a man's tailor, he'ld
149  ha' pricked you. Wilt thou make as many holes in
150  an enemy's battle as thou hast done in a woman's petticoat?
FEEBLE
151  I will do my good will, sir; you can have no more.
FALSTAFF
152  Well said, good woman's tailor! well said,
153  courageous Feeble! thou wilt be as valiant as the
154  wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse. Prick the
155  woman's tailor: well, Master Shallow; deep, Master Shallow.
FEEBLE
156  I would Wart might have gone, sir.
FALSTAFF
157  I would thou wert a man's tailor, that thou mightst
158  mend him and make him fit to go. I cannot put him
159  to a private soldier that is the leader of so many
160  thousands: let that suffice, most forcible Feeble.
FEEBLE
161  It shall suffice, sir.
FALSTAFF
162  I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble. Who is next?
SHALLOW
163  Peter Bullcalf o' the green!
FALSTAFF
164  Yea, marry, let's see Bullcalf.
BULLCALF
165  Here, sir.
FALSTAFF
166  'Fore God, a likely fellow! Come, prick me Bullcalf
167  till he roar again.
BULLCALF
168  O Lord! good my lord captain,--
FALSTAFF
169  What, dost thou roar before thou art pricked?
BULLCALF
170  O Lord, sir! I am a diseased man.
FALSTAFF
171  What disease hast thou?
BULLCALF
172  A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I caught
173  with ringing in the king's affairs upon his
174  coronation-day, sir.
FALSTAFF
175  Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown; we wilt
176  have away thy cold; and I will take such order that
177  my friends shall ring for thee. Is here all?
SHALLOW
178  Here is two more called than your number, you must
179  have but four here, sir: and so, I pray you, go in
180  with me to dinner.
FALSTAFF
181  Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry
182  dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
183  O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay all night
184  in the windmill in Saint George's field?
FALSTAFF
185  No more of that, good Master Shallow, no more of that.
SHALLOW
186  Ha! 'twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork alive?
FALSTAFF
187  She lives, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
188  She never could away with me.
FALSTAFF
189  Never, never; she would always say she could not
190  abide Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
191  By the mass, I could anger her to the heart. She
192  was then a bona-roba. Doth she hold her own well?
FALSTAFF
193  Old, old, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
194  Nay, she must be old; she cannot choose but be old;
195  certain she's old; and had Robin Nightwork by old
196  Nightwork before I came to Clement's Inn.
SILENCE
197  That's fifty-five year ago.
SHALLOW
198  Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that
199  this knight and I have seen! Ha, Sir John, said I well?
FALSTAFF
200  We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
201  That we have, that we have, that we have; in faith,
202  Sir John, we have: our watch-word was 'Hem boys!'
203  Come, let's to dinner; come, let's to dinner:
204  Jesus, the days that we have seen! Come, come.
Exeunt FALSTAFF and Justices

BULLCALF
205  Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my friend;
206  and here's four Harry ten shillings in French crowns
207  for you. In very truth, sir, I had as lief be
208  hanged, sir, as go: and yet, for mine own part, sir,
209  I do not care; but rather, because I am unwilling,
210  and, for mine own part, have a desire to stay with
211  my friends; else, sir, I did not care, for mine own
212  part, so much.
BARDOLPH
213  Go to; stand aside.
MOULDY
214  And, good master corporal captain, for my old
215  dame's sake, stand my friend: she has nobody to do
216  any thing about her when I am gone; and she is old,
217  and cannot help herself: You shall have forty, sir.
BARDOLPH
218  Go to; stand aside.
FEEBLE
219  By my troth, I care not; a man can die but once: we
220  owe God a death: I'll ne'er bear a base mind:
221  an't be my destiny, so; an't be not, so: no man is
222  too good to serve's prince; and let it go which way
223  it will, he that dies this year is quit for the next.
BARDOLPH
224  Well said; thou'rt a good fellow.
FEEBLE
225  Faith, I'll bear no base mind.
Re-enter FALSTAFF and the Justices

FALSTAFF
226  Come, sir, which men shall I have?
SHALLOW
227  Four of which you please.
BARDOLPH
228  Sir, a word with you: I have three pound to free
229  Mouldy and Bullcalf.
FALSTAFF
230  Go to; well.
SHALLOW
231  Come, Sir John, which four will you have?
FALSTAFF
232  Do you choose for me.
SHALLOW
233  Marry, then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble and Shadow.
FALSTAFF
234  Mouldy and Bullcalf: for you, Mouldy, stay at home
235  till you are past service: and for your part,
236  Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it: I will none of you.
SHALLOW
237  Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong: they are
238  your likeliest men, and I would have you served with the best.
FALSTAFF
239  Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a
240  man? Care I for the limb, the thewes, the stature,
241  bulk, and big assemblance of a man! Give me the
242  spirit, Master Shallow. Here's Wart; you see what a
243  ragged appearance it is; a' shall charge you and
244  discharge you with the motion of a pewterer's
245  hammer, come off and on swifter than he that gibbets
246  on the brewer's bucket. And this same half-faced
247  fellow, Shadow; give me this man: he presents no
248  mark to the enemy; the foeman may with as great aim
249  level at the edge of a penknife. And for a retreat;
250  how swiftly will this Feeble the woman's tailor run
251  off! O, give me the spare men, and spare me the
252  great ones. Put me a caliver into Wart's hand, Bardolph.
BARDOLPH
253  Hold, Wart, traverse; thus, thus, thus.
FALSTAFF
254  Come, manage me your caliver. So: very well: go
255  to: very good, exceeding good. O, give me always a
256  little, lean, old, chapt, bald shot. Well said, i'
257  faith, Wart; thou'rt a good scab: hold, there's a
258  tester for thee.
SHALLOW
259  He is not his craft's master; he doth not do it
260  right. I remember at Mile-end Green, when I lay at
261  Clement's Inn--I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur's
262  show,--there was a little quiver fellow, and a'
263  would manage you his piece thus; and a' would about
264  and about, and come you in and come you in: 'rah,
265  tah, tah,' would a' say; 'bounce' would a' say; and
266  away again would a' go, and again would a' come: I
267  shall ne'er see such a fellow.
FALSTAFF
268  These fellows will do well, Master Shallow. God
269  keep you, Master Silence: I will not use many words
270  with you. Fare you well, gentlemen both: I thank
271  you: I must a dozen mile to-night. Bardolph, give
272  the soldiers coats.
SHALLOW
273  Sir John, the Lord bless you! God prosper your
274  affairs! God send us peace! At your return visit
275  our house; let our old acquaintance be renewed;
276  peradventure I will with ye to the court.
FALSTAFF
277  'Fore God, I would you would, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
278  Go to; I have spoke at a word. God keep you.
FALSTAFF
279  Fare you well, gentle gentlemen.
Exeunt Justices
280  On, Bardolph; lead the men away.
Exeunt BARDOLPH, Recruits, &c
281  As I return, I will fetch off these justices: I do
282  see the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how
283  subject we old men are to this vice of lying! This
284  same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to
285  me of the wildness of his youth, and the feats he
286  hath done about Turnbull Street: and every third
287  word a lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk's
288  tribute. I do remember him at Clement's Inn like a
289  man made after supper of a cheese-paring: when a'
290  was naked, he was, for all the world, like a forked
291  radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it
292  with a knife: a' was so forlorn, that his
293  dimensions to any thick sight were invincible: a'
294  was the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a
295  monkey, and the whores called him mandrake: a' came
296  ever in the rearward of the fashion, and sung those
297  tunes to the overscutched huswives that he heard the
298  carmen whistle, and swear they were his fancies or
299  his good-nights. And now is this Vice's dagger
300  become a squire, and talks as familiarly of John a
301  Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother to him; and
302  I'll be sworn a' ne'er saw him but once in the
303  Tilt-yard; and then he burst his head for crowding
304  among the marshal's men. I saw it, and told John a
305  Gaunt he beat his own name; for you might have
306  thrust him and all his apparel into an eel-skin; the
307  case of a treble hautboy was a mansion for him, a
308  court: and now has he land and beefs. Well, I'll
309  be acquainted with him, if I return; and it shall
310  go hard but I will make him a philosopher's two
311  stones to me: if the young dace be a bait for the
312  old pike, I see no reason in the law of nature but I
313  may snap at him. Let time shape, and there an end.
Exit

< (Previous) ACT III, SCENE IACT IV, SCENE I (Next) >
Scene Index
  • INDUCTION


  • ACT I
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III


  • ACT II
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV


  • ACT III
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II


  • ACT IV
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV
  • SCENE V


  • ACT V
  • SCENE I
  • SCENE II
  • SCENE III
  • SCENE IV
  • SCENE V
  • EPILOGUE

  • ©1999-. All rights reserved.Contact
    Part of the MaximumEdge.com Network.Add Bookmark