1    Heigh-ho! an it be not four by the day, I'll be
2    hanged: Charles' wain is over the new chimney, and
3    yet our horse not packed. What, ostler!

Within
4     Anon, anon.

5    I prithee, Tom, beat Cut's saddle, put a few flocks
6    in the point; poor jade, is wrung in the withers out
7    of all cess.

8    Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that
9    is the next way to give poor jades the bots: this
10   house is turned upside down since Robin Ostler died.

11   Poor fellow, never joyed since the price of oats
12   rose; it was the death of him.

13   I think this be the most villanous house in all
14   London road for fleas: I am stung like a tench.

15   Like a tench! by the mass, there is ne'er a king
16   christen could be better bit than I have been since
17   the first cock.

18   Why, they will allow us ne'er a jordan, and then we
19   leak in your chimney; and your chamber-lie breeds
20   fleas like a loach.

21   What, ostler! come away and be hanged!

22   I have a gammon of bacon and two razors of ginger,
23   to be delivered as far as Charing-cross.

24   God's body! the turkeys in my pannier are quite
25   starved. What, ostler! A plague on thee! hast thou
26   never an eye in thy head? canst not hear? An
27   'twere not as good deed as drink, to break the pate
28   on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hanged!
29   hast thou no faith in thee?

30   Good morrow, carriers. What's o'clock?

31   I think it be two o'clock.

32   I pray thee lend me thy lantern, to see my gelding
33   in the stable.

34   Nay, by God, soft; I know a trick worth two of that, i' faith.

35   I pray thee, lend me thine.

36   Ay, when? can'st tell? Lend me thy lantern, quoth
37   he? marry, I'll see thee hanged first.

38   Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?

39   Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant
40   thee. Come, neighbour Mugs, we'll call up the
41   gentleman: they will along with company, for they
42   have great charge.

43   What, ho! chamberlain!

Within
44    At hand, quoth pick-purse.

45   That's even as fair as--at hand, quoth the
46   chamberlain; for thou variest no more from picking
47   of purses than giving direction doth from labouring;
48   thou layest the plot how.

49   Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that
50   I told you yesternight: there's a franklin in the
51   wild of Kent hath brought three hundred marks with
52   him in gold: I heard him tell it to one of his
53   company last night at supper; a kind of auditor; one
54   that hath abundance of charge too, God knows what.
55   They are up already, and call for eggs and butter;
56   they will away presently.

57   Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas'
58   clerks, I'll give thee this neck.

59   No, I'll none of it: I pray thee keep that for the
60   hangman; for I know thou worshippest St. Nicholas
61   as truly as a man of falsehood may.

62   What talkest thou to me of the hangman? if I hang,
63   I'll make a fat pair of gallows; for if I hang, old
64   Sir John hangs with me, and thou knowest he is no
65   starveling. Tut! there are other Trojans that thou
66   dreamest not of, the which for sport sake are
67   content to do the profession some grace; that would,
68   if matters should be looked into, for their own
69   credit sake, make all whole. I am joined with no
70   foot-land rakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers,
71   none of these mad mustachio purple-hued malt-worms;
72   but with nobility and tranquillity, burgomasters and
73   great oneyers, such as can hold in, such as will
74   strike sooner than speak, and speak sooner than
75   drink, and drink sooner than pray: and yet, zounds,
76   I lie; for they pray continually to their saint, the
77   commonwealth; or rather, not pray to her, but prey
78   on her, for they ride up and down on her and make
79   her their boots.

80   What, the commonwealth their boots? will she hold
81   out water in foul way?

82   She will, she will; justice hath liquored her. We
83   steal as in a castle, cocksure; we have the receipt
84   of fern-seed, we walk invisible.

85   Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to
86   the night than to fern-seed for your walking invisible.

87   Give me thy hand: thou shalt have a share in our
88   purchase, as I am a true man.

89   Nay, rather let me have it, as you are a false thief.

90   Go to; 'homo' is a common name to all men. Bid the
91   ostler bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell,
92   you muddy knave.