1    Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to
2    you, trippingly on the tongue: but if you mouth it,
3    as many of your players do, I had as lief the
4    town-crier spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air
5    too much with your hand, thus, but use all gently;
6    for in the very torrent, tempest, and, as I may say,
7    the whirlwind of passion, you must acquire and beget
8    a temperance that may give it smoothness. O, it
9    offends me to the soul to hear a robustious
10   periwig-pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to
11   very rags, to split the ears of the groundlings, who
12   for the most part are capable of nothing but
13   inexplicable dumbshows and noise: I would have such
14   a fellow whipped for o'erdoing Termagant; it
15   out-herods Herod: pray you, avoid it.

16   I warrant your honour.

17   Be not too tame neither, but let your own discretion
18   be your tutor: suit the action to the word, the
19   word to the action; with this special o'erstep not
20   the modesty of nature: for any thing so overdone is
21   from the purpose of playing, whose end, both at the
22   first and now, was and is, to hold, as 'twere, the
23   mirror up to nature; to show virtue her own feature,
24   scorn her own image, and the very age and body of
25   the time his form and pressure. Now this overdone,
26   or come tardy off, though it make the unskilful
27   laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve; the
28   censure of the which one must in your allowance
29   o'erweigh a whole theatre of others. O, there be
30   players that I have seen play, and heard others
31   praise, and that highly, not to speak it profanely,
32   that, neither having the accent of Christians nor
33   the gait of Christian, pagan, nor man, have so
34   strutted and bellowed that I have thought some of
35   nature's journeymen had made men and not made them
36   well, they imitated humanity so abominably.

37   I hope we have reformed that indifferently with us,
38   sir.

39   O, reform it altogether. And let those that play
40   your clowns speak no more than is set down for them;
41   for there be of them that will themselves laugh, to
42   set on some quantity of barren spectators to laugh
43   too; though, in the mean time, some necessary
44   question of the play be then to be considered:
45   that's villanous, and shows a most pitiful ambition
46   in the fool that uses it. Go, make you ready.
Exeunt Players
Enter POLONIUS, ROSENCRANTZ, and GUILDENSTERN
47   How now, my lord! I will the king hear this piece of work?

48   And the queen too, and that presently.

49   Bid the players make haste.
Exit POLONIUS
50   Will you two help to hasten them?

51   We will, my lord.

52   What ho! Horatio!

53   Here, sweet lord, at your service.

54   Horatio, thou art e'en as just a man
55   As e'er my conversation coped withal.

56   O, my dear lord,--

57   Nay, do not think I flatter;
58   For what advancement may I hope from thee
59   That no revenue hast but thy good spirits,
60   To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be flatter'd?
61   No, let the candied tongue lick absurd pomp,
62   And crook the pregnant hinges of the knee
63   Where thrift may follow fawning. Dost thou hear?
64   Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice
65   And could of men distinguish, her election
66   Hath seal'd thee for herself; for thou hast been
67   As one, in suffering all, that suffers nothing,
68   A man that fortune's buffets and rewards
69   Hast ta'en with equal thanks: and blest are those
70   Whose blood and judgment are so well commingled,
71   That they are not a pipe for fortune's finger
72   To sound what stop she please. Give me that man
73   That is not passion's slave, and I will wear him
74   In my heart's core, ay, in my heart of heart,
75   As I do thee.--Something too much of this.--
76   There is a play to-night before the king;
77   One scene of it comes near the circumstance
78   Which I have told thee of my father's death:
79   I prithee, when thou seest that act afoot,
80   Even with the very comment of thy soul
81   Observe mine uncle: if his occulted guilt
82   Do not itself unkennel in one speech,
83   It is a damned ghost that we have seen,
84   And my imaginations are as foul
85   As Vulcan's stithy. Give him heedful note;
86   For I mine eyes will rivet to his face,
87   And after we will both our judgments join
88   In censure of his seeming.

89   Well, my lord:
90   If he steal aught the whilst this play is playing,
91   And 'scape detecting, I will pay the theft.

92   They are coming to the play; I must be idle:
93   Get you a place.

94   How fares our cousin Hamlet?

95   Excellent, i' faith; of the chameleon's dish: I eat
96   the air, promise-crammed: you cannot feed capons so.

97   I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet; these words
98   are not mine.

99   No, nor mine now.
To POLONIUS
100  My lord, you played once i' the university, you say?

101  That did I, my lord; and was accounted a good actor.

102  What did you enact?

103  I did enact Julius Caesar: I was killed i' the
104  Capitol; Brutus killed me.

105  It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a calf
106  there. Be the players ready?

107  Ay, my lord; they stay upon your patience.

108  Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me.

109  No, good mother, here's metal more attractive.

To KING CLAUDIUS
110   O, ho! do you mark that?

111  Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

112  No, my lord.

113  I mean, my head upon your lap?

114  Ay, my lord.

115  Do you think I meant country matters?

116  I think nothing, my lord.

117  That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.

118  What is, my lord?

119  Nothing.

120  You are merry, my lord.

121  Who, I?

122  Ay, my lord.

123  O God, your only jig-maker. What should a man do
124  but be merry? for, look you, how cheerfully my
125  mother looks, and my father died within these two hours.

126  Nay, 'tis twice two months, my lord.

127  So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for
128  I'll have a suit of sables. O heavens! die two
129  months ago, and not forgotten yet? Then there's
130  hope a great man's memory may outlive his life half
131  a year: but, by'r lady, he must build churches,
132  then; or else shall he suffer not thinking on, with
133  the hobby-horse, whose epitaph is 'For, O, for, O,
134  the hobby-horse is forgot.'
Hautboys play. The dumb-show enters

135  What means this, my lord?

136  Marry, this is miching mallecho; it means mischief.

137  Belike this show imports the argument of the play.

138  We shall know by this fellow: the players cannot
139  keep counsel; they'll tell all.

140  Will he tell us what this show meant?

141  Ay, or any show that you'll show him: be not you
142  ashamed to show, he'll not shame to tell you what it means.

143  You are naught, you are naught: I'll mark the play.

144  For us, and for our tragedy,
145  Here stooping to your clemency,
146  We beg your hearing patiently.

147  Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring?

148  'Tis brief, my lord.

149  As woman's love.

150  Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart gone round
151  Neptune's salt wash and Tellus' orbed ground,
152  And thirty dozen moons with borrow'd sheen
153  About the world have times twelve thirties been,
154  Since love our hearts and Hymen did our hands
155  Unite commutual in most sacred bands.

156  So many journeys may the sun and moon
157  Make us again count o'er ere love be done!
158  But, woe is me, you are so sick of late,
159  So far from cheer and from your former state,
160  That I distrust you. Yet, though I distrust,
161  Discomfort you, my lord, it nothing must:
162  For women's fear and love holds quantity;
163  In neither aught, or in extremity.
164  Now, what my love is, proof hath made you know;
165  And as my love is sized, my fear is so:
166  Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear;
167  Where little fears grow great, great love grows there.

168  'Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too;
169  My operant powers their functions leave to do:
170  And thou shalt live in this fair world behind,
171  Honour'd, beloved; and haply one as kind
172  For husband shalt thou--

173  O, confound the rest!
174  Such love must needs be treason in my breast:
175  In second husband let me be accurst!
176  None wed the second but who kill'd the first.

Aside
177   Wormwood, wormwood.

178  The instances that second marriage move
179  Are base respects of thrift, but none of love:
180  A second time I kill my husband dead,
181  When second husband kisses me in bed.

182  I do believe you think what now you speak;
183  But what we do determine oft we break.
184  Purpose is but the slave to memory,
185  Of violent birth, but poor validity;
186  Which now, like fruit unripe, sticks on the tree;
187  But fall, unshaken, when they mellow be.
188  Most necessary 'tis that we forget
189  To pay ourselves what to ourselves is debt:
190  What to ourselves in passion we propose,
191  The passion ending, doth the purpose lose.
192  The violence of either grief or joy
193  Their own enactures with themselves destroy:
194  Where joy most revels, grief doth most lament;
195  Grief joys, joy grieves, on slender accident.
196  This world is not for aye, nor 'tis not strange
197  That even our loves should with our fortunes change;
198  For 'tis a question left us yet to prove,
199  Whether love lead fortune, or else fortune love.
200  The great man down, you mark his favourite flies;
201  The poor advanced makes friends of enemies.
202  And hitherto doth love on fortune tend;
203  For who not needs shall never lack a friend,
204  And who in want a hollow friend doth try,
205  Directly seasons him his enemy.
206  But, orderly to end where I begun,
207  Our wills and fates do so contrary run
208  That our devices still are overthrown;
209  Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own:
210  So think thou wilt no second husband wed;
211  But die thy thoughts when thy first lord is dead.

212  Nor earth to me give food, nor heaven light!
213  Sport and repose lock from me day and night!
214  To desperation turn my trust and hope!
215  An anchor's cheer in prison be my scope!
216  Each opposite that blanks the face of joy
217  Meet what I would have well and it destroy!
218  Both here and hence pursue me lasting strife,
219  If, once a widow, ever I be wife!

220  If she should break it now!

221  'Tis deeply sworn. Sweet, leave me here awhile;
222  My spirits grow dull, and fain I would beguile
223  The tedious day with sleep.

224  Sleep rock thy brain,
225  And never come mischance between us twain!

226  Madam, how like you this play?

227  The lady protests too much, methinks.

228  O, but she'll keep her word.

229  Have you heard the argument? Is there no offence in 't?

230  No, no, they do but jest, poison in jest; no offence
231  i' the world.

232  What do you call the play?

233  The Mouse-trap. Marry, how? Tropically. This play
234  is the image of a murder done in Vienna: Gonzago is
235  the duke's name; his wife, Baptista: you shall see
236  anon; 'tis a knavish piece of work: but what o'
237  that? your majesty and we that have free souls, it
238  touches us not: let the galled jade wince, our
239  withers are unwrung.
Enter LUCIANUS
240  This is one Lucianus, nephew to the king.

241  You are as good as a chorus, my lord.

242  I could interpret between you and your love, if I
243  could see the puppets dallying.

244  You are keen, my lord, you are keen.

245  It would cost you a groaning to take off my edge.

246  Still better, and worse.

247  So you must take your husbands. Begin, murderer;
248  pox, leave thy damnable faces, and begin. Come:
249  'the croaking raven doth bellow for revenge.'

250  Thoughts black, hands apt, drugs fit, and time agreeing;
251  Confederate season, else no creature seeing;
252  Thou mixture rank, of midnight weeds collected,
253  With Hecate's ban thrice blasted, thrice infected,
254  Thy natural magic and dire property,
255  On wholesome life usurp immediately.

256  He poisons him i' the garden for's estate. His
257  name's Gonzago: the story is extant, and writ in
258  choice Italian: you shall see anon how the murderer
259  gets the love of Gonzago's wife.

260  The king rises.

261  What, frighted with false fire!

262  How fares my lord?

263  Give o'er the play.

264  Give me some light: away!

265  Lights, lights, lights!

266  Why, let the stricken deer go weep,
267  The hart ungalled play;
268  For some must watch, while some must sleep:
269  So runs the world away.
270  Would not this, sir, and a forest of feathers-- if
271  the rest of my fortunes turn Turk with me--with two
272  Provincial roses on my razed shoes, get me a
273  fellowship in a cry of players, sir?

274  Half a share.

275  A whole one, I.
276  For thou dost know, O Damon dear,
277  This realm dismantled was
278  Of Jove himself; and now reigns here
279  A very, very--pajock.

280  You might have rhymed.

281  O good Horatio, I'll take the ghost's word for a
282  thousand pound. Didst perceive?

283  Very well, my lord.

284  Upon the talk of the poisoning?

285  I did very well note him.

286  Ah, ha! Come, some music! come, the recorders!
287  For if the king like not the comedy,
288  Why then, belike, he likes it not, perdy.
289  Come, some music!

290  Good my lord, vouchsafe me a word with you.

291  Sir, a whole history.

292  The king, sir,--

293  Ay, sir, what of him?

294  Is in his retirement marvellous distempered.

295  With drink, sir?

296  No, my lord, rather with choler.

297  Your wisdom should show itself more richer to
298  signify this to his doctor; for, for me to put him
299  to his purgation would perhaps plunge him into far
300  more choler.

301  Good my lord, put your discourse into some frame and
302  start not so wildly from my affair.

303  I am tame, sir: pronounce.

304  The queen, your mother, in most great affliction of
305  spirit, hath sent me to you.

306  You are welcome.

307  Nay, good my lord, this courtesy is not of the right
308  breed. If it shall please you to make me a
309  wholesome answer, I will do your mother's
310  commandment: if not, your pardon and my return
311  shall be the end of my business.

312  Sir, I cannot.

313  What, my lord?

314  Make you a wholesome answer; my wit's diseased: but,
315  sir, such answer as I can make, you shall command;
316  or, rather, as you say, my mother: therefore no
317  more, but to the matter: my mother, you say,--

318  Then thus she says; your behavior hath struck her
319  into amazement and admiration.

320  O wonderful son, that can so astonish a mother! But
321  is there no sequel at the heels of this mother's
322  admiration? Impart.

323  She desires to speak with you in her closet, ere you
324  go to bed.

325  We shall obey, were she ten times our mother. Have
326  you any further trade with us?

327  My lord, you once did love me.

328  So I do still, by these pickers and stealers.

329  Good my lord, what is your cause of distemper? you
330  do, surely, bar the door upon your own liberty, if
331  you deny your griefs to your friend.

332  Sir, I lack advancement.

333  How can that be, when you have the voice of the king
334  himself for your succession in Denmark?

335  Ay, but sir, 'While the grass grows,'--the proverb
336  is something musty.
Re-enter Players with recorders
337  O, the recorders! let me see one. To withdraw with
338  you:--why do you go about to recover the wind of me,
339  as if you would drive me into a toil?

340  O, my lord, if my duty be too bold, my love is too
341  unmannerly.

342  I do not well understand that. Will you play upon
343  this pipe?

344  My lord, I cannot.

345  I pray you.

346  Believe me, I cannot.

347  I do beseech you.

348  I know no touch of it, my lord.

349  'Tis as easy as lying: govern these ventages with
350  your lingers and thumb, give it breath with your
351  mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music.
352  Look you, these are the stops.

353  But these cannot I command to any utterance of
354  harmony; I have not the skill.

355  Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of
356  me! You would play upon me; you would seem to know
357  my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my
358  mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to
359  the top of my compass: and there is much music,
360  excellent voice, in this little organ; yet cannot
361  you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am
362  easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what
363  instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you
364  cannot play upon me.
Enter POLONIUS
365  God bless you, sir!

366  My lord, the queen would speak with you, and
367  presently.

368  Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel?

369  By the mass, and 'tis like a camel, indeed.

370  Methinks it is like a weasel.

371  It is backed like a weasel.

372  Or like a whale?

373  Very like a whale.

374  Then I will come to my mother by and by. They fool
375  me to the top of my bent. I will come by and by.

376  I will say so.

377  By and by is easily said.
Exit POLONIUS
378  Leave me, friends.
Exeunt all but HAMLET
379  Tis now the very witching time of night,
380  When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
381  Contagion to this world: now could I drink hot blood,
382  And do such bitter business as the day
383  Would quake to look on. Soft! now to my mother.
384  O heart, lose not thy nature; let not ever
385  The soul of Nero enter this firm bosom:
386  Let me be cruel, not unnatural:
387  I will speak daggers to her, but use none;
388  My tongue and soul in this be hypocrites;
389  How in my words soever she be shent,
390  To give them seals never, my soul, consent!